Thursday, January 08, 2009
The Downward Slope
photo by someone to whom I wish I could give credit, but I couldn't figure out who it was - I googled "lazy person"
I'm on the downward slope of a roller coaster ride (which is called Life). I'm feeling down on myself. Not long ago a friend asked what is a typical day like at my household. I wrote it down for her, and it depressed me. It was written proof of how lazy I am. I make a lot of quilts, I read a lot of books, my hubby and I have fun together, I go to work every day. But hubby and I don't do much of anything else. Even though I love a neat and tidy house, I hardly ever do housework because I hate it so much! It is embarrassing to admit that, but it's true. I try to keep the place picked up, but when we get behind, it just begins to overwhelm me.
That's one characteristic of myself that I can't stand, and it depresses me.
Another one is that I'm so gosh-darned fat. And I hate obsessing about it! But, I'm naturally a thin person. Or at least I used to be. So I can't get used to the new, fat me, and it's easy to be in denial. Today I received a picture of one of our Christmas gatherings. Who's that elephant in the front row?? Me. Not pretty.
I'm tired. When i was on my two-week break from work, I let my body rhythms take charge. This meant being a Night Owl. So I'm trying to revert my body clock back to what it needs to be for work. Not easy. *yawn!*
I'm thankful for nice friends, people who love me, and my happy life. But once in a while the roller coaster takes a dip and I feel down. That's where I am today.
Intentionally looking at and working on these down sides of my life helps. I'm trying to be more On Top of Things at home so we don't let it turn into a dump. The f*a*t part is harder to work on, because I don't enjoy the solutions to that problem: cutting down on eating? Not fun. Exercising? Not fun, and harder to do in the winter time.
So.. life goes on, and I struggle with improving my down areas. Thanks for listening!