Thursday, January 08, 2009

The Downward Slope

photo by someone to whom I wish I could give credit, but I couldn't figure out who it was - I googled "lazy person"

I'm on the downward slope of a roller coaster ride (which is called Life). I'm feeling down on myself. Not long ago a friend asked what is a typical day like at my household. I wrote it down for her, and it depressed me. It was written proof of how lazy I am. I make a lot of quilts, I read a lot of books, my hubby and I have fun together, I go to work every day. But hubby and I don't do much of anything else. Even though I love a neat and tidy house, I hardly ever do housework because I hate it so much! It is embarrassing to admit that, but it's true. I try to keep the place picked up, but when we get behind, it just begins to overwhelm me.

That's one characteristic of myself that I can't stand, and it depresses me.

Another one is that I'm so gosh-darned fat. And I hate obsessing about it! But, I'm naturally a thin person. Or at least I used to be. So I can't get used to the new, fat me, and it's easy to be in denial. Today I received a picture of one of our Christmas gatherings. Who's that elephant in the front row?? Me. Not pretty.

I'm tired. When i was on my two-week break from work, I let my body rhythms take charge. This meant being a Night Owl. So I'm trying to revert my body clock back to what it needs to be for work. Not easy. *yawn!*

I'm thankful for nice friends, people who love me, and my happy life. But once in a while the roller coaster takes a dip and I feel down. That's where I am today.

Intentionally looking at and working on these down sides of my life helps. I'm trying to be more On Top of Things at home so we don't let it turn into a dump. The f*a*t part is harder to work on, because I don't enjoy the solutions to that problem: cutting down on eating? Not fun. Exercising? Not fun, and harder to do in the winter time.

So.. life goes on, and I struggle with improving my down areas. Thanks for listening!


Unknown said...


~Niki~ said...

I feel your pain Carol. I've been there, all too much, actually. I need to diet in a BAD way. Why cannot I just DO this?! Yes, I love good food. I wish it was like quitting smoking, but unfortunately, we still have to EAT! not go cold turkey. It's hard for me,and many. You're definitely not alone...niki in az

Melissa Kaye said...

Ahhh, Carol. I understand how you're feeling and every day that I do cleaning it goes against everything in me, because I'd rather do something I enjoy then clean. BLECH!

I hope you are back on the upslope soon. We love you!

Torina said...

Sometimes you just need to feel down to appreciate the happy days more. Eat some chocolate, poke at your belly a few times and giggle. Revel in your slump because you will get up again. Sometimes you just have to trudge along to get to the other side. But we all get that is the season of discontent :)

Megs said...

I'm sorry your having an "off" day, Carol! You guys were all so lovely to leave me nice notes a couple of weeks ago when I was having a bad day - so here I am: We love you. You make a wonderful difference in the world! You are NOT lazy (think of how many lives you affect through your service work and your job!). And a messy house just is evidence of a life worth living. :)

If you have a chance tonight, get your husband, bundle up, and go for a nice walk. Hold hands. Talk about your day - and what you're thankful for. It'll work wonders!

Unknown said...

I was where you are, and I mean EXACTLY where you are, a couple weeks ago. Same issues, same circumstances. I really feel your pain. I had the added problem of major cash flow issues, which is actually helping with the fat issue. :) I have a banana and an apple for breakfast, instead of a bagel with cream cheese, because it's cheaper. And I'm lazy too. What I do now is set a timer. At first, to get caught up, it was 15 minutes a room each day. That's it. No more. Now, it's just 15 minutes a day. Period. If it doesn't get done, it doesn't get done. When The Muffin is here, he works for the same time I do, but usually it's just me. See if that helps. Anyone can do anything for just 15 minutes. And keep your chin up- it WILL get better.

Brenda said...

maybe its just January -- too cold, too dark, and not enough holidays. you do so many generous things for others -- all those charity quilts you make-- that you shouldn't beat yourself up about a messy house.

Jill said...

Carol, take a look at the second link on my blog post today. . . may provide another point of view. And you're SO NOT lazy. Hello, how much effort goes into those quilts, not to mention your family and your students?

Gari in AL said...

Lazy is what busy people feel when they can't get everything done. If you have raised your children but are still working, not doing much else is where you are. If you expect yourself to do much more, you will be depressed because you are so tired. As far as being f*a*t, I am going to suggest Weight Watchers. I have been going since April and have lost 48#. I have more energy and am wearing much smaller clothes (and look really cute, by the way). The program is easy and can fit into any lifestyle. I think the only insurmountable problem is one you don't do something about. (I love the 15 min. rule mentioned above)

Victoria Findlay Wolfe said...

MN winters will do that to a person. Don't forget your Vit D... Heck, NY & MN winters do that to me...
Brighter days are coming. I feel a change coming on!
Take your sweetie out for a surprise walk, arm and arm. One step at a time...:-)
(I'm telling myself this too by the way!)

Andrea, the little collector said...


As I was heading over here I was thinking how I have come to feel grateful for your blogging friendship and how much I have appreciated your kind words recently. Hope I can send you some back.

The first week back from vacation is transition time, and transitions can be hard. Hubby works in a school too, so both of us are really feeling this first week back. It IS tiring! You'll find your stride.

Quilting and reading and spending time with family and friends are all valuable things. Doing these things bring joy to you and to others. Don't discount them as laziness! It's ok for life to be slower paced. (Remember? You told me that it doesn't have to be breakneck speed!)

As for housework....I'm cleaning tonight ONLY because our super is coming to do a repair and I'm too embarrassed for him to see this mess more than one day in a row! Don't love housework much myself. Chaos creeps in quickly. Don't take it personally. People matter more that dust...even dust bunnies or dust Labradors! ( I swear one of these sleeps under our bed sometimes. I try not to disturb him with the broom....)

Be gentle with yourself. Somethings will fall into place as you get your routine. If something really needs to change you find the way and time to do it.

God bless you Carol! Have a lovely weekend.

Mary Johnson said...

Not that it will make you feel better but you're not alone. I hate housework, would rather quilt, read, walk...just about anything else. I need to lose weight too but the only exercise I like is walking and I need to do more(and eat and drink less).

In December, I made myself do one hated or procrastinated task a day...telling myself I only had to do it for 15-30 minutes. Once I got started I found it easier to work on them for longer.

I hope your back on the up slope soon.

Craftygirl said...

On the other hand, the friend who read your description of your day was impressed by all you get done and by the sweetness of your relationship with your sweetie, AND you didn't even mention (hardly) what you do at "work" which she happens to know is very interesting and rewarding . . .

Clean houses. Bah!