Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Overwhelmed, Sad, Recovering

April A-Z Challenge: O is for Overwhelmed

I've been really, really, really sad lately. If you read my blog regularly, you know that. It has to do with my son and dil. They are struggling. The future for their marriage looks dim. Nothing has been decided, but things are not looking good. Time will tell.

I think it is OK to mention this, because they are pretty open at Facebook about their "complicated" relationship, son isn't even wearing his wedding ring these days, and their friends all know, from what I can see.

This has been extremely painful. They are still "newlyweds" in my book (2nd anniversary is in July). Too early to have such deep division and enormous problems. It literally, physically hurts my heart.

Since I was made aware of the problems, I have not seen DIL. I have not talked to her. It's not my business; it's theirs to sort out. It still hurts... a LOT. I feel hurt on behalf of my son and on behalf of my (probable) loss of a DIL. And for the loss of the happiness and dreams. My mommy heart has suffered a big wound.

The good news is, son is well grounded and sensible. He helps me feel better. Lately I've had some really good chats with him, a little about the marriage and a lot about just things in general. That helps me heal, and I am grateful.

Today I looked at some of their wedding pictures, just to test.... I was able to look at them without the tears flowing. I had a little heart ache, but no tears. That's a first. So things are looking up.

I believe that happy days are ahead for us all, no matter what is decided. And that has helped me feel better, too. We always have such high hopes for our children, and it's hard to see them suffer. But... son has taught me about being graceful during and after a crisis.

Things I'm thankful for:
1. a son who has grown into a wonderful man
2. a postcard from my wonderful daughter
3. beautiful snow AND it didn't last long!
4. supportive friends
5. healing
6. starting to recover as Easter approaches
7. a bright future


AnnieO said...

Oh, dear. That IS sad to see the possible end of a marriage that is still so new. No mom wants their children to suffer and lose hope in their dreams. You and your son have always had a close relationship and I'm glad that is making it easier for you to deal with your sadness at his difficulties and it is getting easier.

Unknown said...

Parenting is hard period! I like that part about being graceful! I have been using that alot in my head and my heart...

Twisted Quilts said...

My son and his wife have had a rocky marriage. They were older and had kids right away. They have only been married 6 years. They went to counseling for about a year and I am not sure that helped. I feel like they would have split if it had not been for the kids. I don't know if that is bad or good. Hang in there, parenting is hard.