Right off the bat we were snippy at each other. It wasn't fun. Instantly I was so mad. We know how to push each other's buttons... in the past we have sat in restaurants going ahead with the meal but steaming at each other the whole time. I didn't want to do that again, so I LEFT after having had only a Diet Coke. I left her sitting there with her unopened birthday presents... alone.
What kind of a mom does that??
I came home and watched Dr. Phil. He was talking about problem relationships and said his usual.. I've heard this before... "someone in this relationship needs to be the hero." Meaning, drop the crap and step up and be a nice person so you can heal the rift and get back to loving each other. Someone has to take the first step.
As a mom I should have done that.
I've been feeling like crap ever since.
Daughter and I love each other, but we have a history of wild ups and downs. We need to be adults. It's so hard to do when one is mad and feelings are hurt, and there is a liftetime of history behind it all. Easy to listen to Dr. Phil say "someone needs to be the hero" and to think about the people on his show "yeah, why don't they just stop arguing?!" In one's own personal life it is way harder.
I've been trying to call and text message Daughter. All she said was, she needs time to "get over it." Which means she is still hurt and mad. I'm just sad and feeling like crap.
I put this prayer ("help!") in God's in-box. So far I still feel like crap.
Now you know what a horrible mom I am. I've bared my soul. Not very pretty, is it?!
happier times in another restaurant