Thursday, March 12, 2009

Sneaky Fat

Boy, getting fat just sneaks up on a person. I'm shocked when I see pictures of myself. I was THIN for the first part of my life. After my 2nd baby I didn't lose as much as I wanted, but still wasn't huge (though I thought I was). After age 40 it started sneaking up, more, more, more... then a hysterectomy, thyroid problems, age 50... more, more... UFFDA! Here I am. Twice the size I used to be. I now would have to work hard and lose a lot of weight to get down to what I weighed when I was 9 months pregnant with my second child. Never thought I'd be able to say that! And it isn't making me happy!

On the other hand, I am happy. I have a great life! I just don't like being part of the American Epidemic that everyone writes about.

This morning it was 4 below zero F when I went to work. If it ever warms up around here, I might start walking again. This has nothing to do with losing weight. I don't want to think about working on that. Every time I try, I end up gaining weight in the long run. So forget it!

By the way, I'm not looking for advice. Thanks, though. I know a lot of people would have sensible advice for me. I don't want it! I can give it to myself. I'm just talking about how surprising it is to find oneself "suddenly" in this fat life. It feels rather sudden to me.
Anyone else feel like a thin person trapped in a fat body? It stinks!

8 comments:

Beth said...

No advice here! I am so looking forward to Spring.... and summer...and Crow Creek... yippee!

Lisa said...

When I got my drivers license at 16 I lied about my age. I put down that I was 125 lbs because I was 99 lbs sopping wet. Straight bean pole. I hated it. Today I just received renewed license and it STILL says 125 lbs. 28 years later and I'm still wishing I was 125 lbs. Just on the opposite end of the spectrum. Ugh for me.

Craftygirl said...

Similar sneaking up problem: Who put those II wrinkles between my eyebrows and when did my nose start looking so old???

Quilt Pixie said...

yup, those "non lying" pictures are a bane of my existence too -- amazing how day to day life just keeps chugging along fine and then it hits you: "I don't have the body I had at 25 or 30 anymore". Must admit to thinking its s good thing I'm not that age anymore, but that body, I could like with it again... :-)

Clare said...

Once upon a time, many moons ago, I used to be a UK size 12. Now I'm size mumble mumble. Every summer I say to myself that I'm going to get back to down size mumble mumble. I'll never get back to 12, but at least I can try to get down to ?? and feel happier with myself. There is a thin me waiting to get out, but when I don't know (sigh).

Michele's Quilting Journey said...

I used to tell friends, lose what you don't want (pounds, ex-husbands, whatever...) before you're 40 because it's just too darn hard after that. Then, I switched to 50--way harder after 50, then to after 55...you hit the speed limit and EVERYTHING slows down. Now, I'm in my last year of my 50's and I think...ohmygosh...what am I going to be like next year? After a while, you realize that the best intentions don't change hormones or the lack thereof and all of a sudden...either acceptance comes in or change. The idea of "love you/me like you?I am/are" is a very good thing. That must be acceptance...don't you think?

BrendaLou said...

Of course I feel the same way....but you do need to realize that you picked an outfit that only added lbs. to your "sturdy" frame. I love the statement in the Alexander McCall books, "The Number 1 Ladies' Detective Agency" about being "traditionally built."

Hugs to you...I like you too!

Elaine Adair said...

All that may be true, but girl, you're darned cute!!!