[featuring random pictures of quilts made by me]
Once upon a time there was a woman named Carol who loved quilts and wished she could make some by herself. She didn't consider trying, because, she thought, "I'm not patient enough." With the encouragement of friends and her mother, Carol finally decided to try. Her first attempt was a pot holder (haha.. it turned into a quilt).
After that she was hooked and has been making quilts like crazy ever since. It has been 20 years and 4 months, and she is still going strong. Or is she?
That Carol is me, of course. Lately I have been feeling uninspired.
I know, slumps are normal. I go through them periodically and just wait.. eventually I once again get enthused.
In recent weeks I have been dealing with some major-ish depression. I'm getting help with it, but it is causing me to ponder and re-think everything about my life. This includes my quilting.
When I see all the gorgeous things other quilters create, I realize, "I will never make that. I'm not patient enough." So, while my quilts are pretty, and I enjoy making them, and people seem to appreciate them, I will never achieve that awesome level that so many have achieved and seem to maintain. It turns out I was right about myself. I'm just not patient enough.
I don't have what it takes to do the projects that require stick-to-it-ive-ness. Once in a while strange things happen, and I make a masterpiece. I have done that twice. Most of what I make, however, is "nice." I think I'm OK with that. I don't need to be famous; I don't need to be making top-of-the-line awesomeness every time I sit down at my machine.
I get the most joy out of making charity quilts. I love to make them pretty. After all, poor and/or sick kids deserve some beauty in their lives, too. I have never uttered the words "it's just for charity" in the sense of making ugly stuff is OK because it's for charity.
Meanwhile I'm waiting for my enthusiasm to return. I have been sewing, but I can only manage the mindless stuff. Things that don't require careful 1/4-inch seams, for example. Scrappy stuff. Quick stuff. While the depression rages on, it's all I can manage.
And when I get back to being enthused, I will be happy with "nice" and accept the fact that I am not patient enough to achieve that certain level of art and beauty that I so admire in other people's work. To be honest, I'm even OK with not being patient enough to do that type of sewing.
Charity quilting is what makes me happiest. Meanwhile, I'm trying to remember how to feel happy. It's just one of those dips in life. While being not fine, I'm fine. Things will look up once again.