Join us at Walk a Mile to share a story of grace or achieving a warm, soft heart.
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My story of a warm, gracious heart is something I am still working on... have not yet mastered. As you know if you are a regular reader, my son got married this summer. It was a wonderful, happy celebration. Nothing but joy all day long.
My son and his wife are vegan, and so they worked with the caterer to choose vegan food to serve at the wedding reception. The food was beautiful, delicious and plentiful. There was something for everyone. If you didn't know it was vegan, you might not even notice or be "scared off."
Shortly after the wedding my mom asked me with kind of a snarly look on her face "what made Steven become vegan?!" -- It's that bad a choice, Mom???? I'm actually quite proud of him and his wife.. they both have made their choices based on morals and principles, from learning about land use and how animals are treated in the meat industry. What's to not love and be proud of? I'd be a vegetarian myself if I weren't so dang lazy about learning a new way of cooking and eating.
So I'm working on not feeling mad and petty about my mom and her 88-year-old self who tends to be critical of things that are different. Still a work in progress........ I think I'll make a God's Inbox and put a little prayer in the box to ask for help with this one. It's not good to hold a little grudge against my dear mommy.
10 comments:
A God's Inbox?! Like Anne Lamott?! I love it! I think we all need one of those...
How cool would it be to have a "God's Inbox" at church? Hmm....
Inbox...way cool! Moms and reactions are a work in progress! I have shifted my focus to how I can change it for my daughters...
I understand what you are going through. My mother has said several things to me this summer that are very hurtful. She is frustrated and she takes it out on me. I am like Beth, I don't want to do this to my daughter.
I think it's awesome to see your support and compassion for your son and his wife. As I made a transition to vegetarianism (and later veganism), I too was lucky to have the support of my parents.
Of course, being from a farming family, I do remember that there were several relatives who did ask me tough/semi-confrontational questions at larger meals. It stung to be put on the defensive in my new dietary territory with people I love. I mean, I was learning too, trying to do what was right for me without being righteous.
But that passed and they too softened. All I'm trying to say is that your support for them is so awesome. Such support keeps everyone around you more open. I love it. Thanks for sharing.
My doctor boss is vegetarian and though we often have reps bring us meals, they have to be vegetarian since the doc will not allow meat in his building. Some of the girls get really upset about this. I don't see why--it's only three or four meals a month at the very most. Many studies show that not eating meat is better for your body and health. I do love my meat but I consciously also choose veggie meals often. Vegans come in many degrees, some people just need to be educated about that a little!
Just put you mother's comments in that box. It's part of old age I think. Sometimes we are warned not to become our mothers and this seems to be one of them.
No explanation is necessary
My parents (mom, really) thought I had an eating disorder when I stopped eating beef and pork in college. There were countless conversations during holiday meals about what was on my plate. It got so old, so fast. I've never really liked meat all that much. I think it's a mix of my own tastes and how meat was prepared in my family. And college cafeteria meat in the '90s was suspicious, period.
The irony of her/them pointing the finger at my "odd" meal habits during that time is that my parents routinely ate popcorn for dinner after I left the house. Balanced meal? Probably not. . .
Your kids are fine, you're fine and I am too. I think the important thing is that we should all adhere to what we find important in our lives. That is what committment is all about. and then there is compassion...your Mom SHOULD have it for the "kids" but then, we need to have it for her.....in her later years my MIL often said unkind things or inappropriate things. I actually believe that she had a hard time controlling what she said...meaning she thought something and it just came out. I do hope that my kids cut me some slack when I'm old/er. Hugs to YOU Carol.
I have enjoyed this conversation. My daughter became a vegetarian almost 2 years ago (at the age of 15) and I thought it would be a passing phase, but now am proud of her commitment to what she feels is right. It's also helped me to eat more healthy and keep my cholesterol at good levels! I've also encouraged her to be respectful of those who choose to eat meat as well as those who are vegans and eat no animal products at all. I think the "criticism" we get from others are mostly because they don't understand the reasoning behind eating less/no meat and were brought up to believe that we needed TONS of protein in our diets. I try to politely educate them about alternate protein sources and their reactions are often ones of surprise (and interest)! Keep it up, Carol...maybe your "kids") will share some recipes with us!!
My own mom became argumentative and downright mean at times as she aged - not her usual self, and then claimed she didn't remember what said. Even though we knew it was probably due to her age, it still hurt a LOT! I still can't get past some of her barbs, even knowing it's dementia, not really her. Mom is 94, still with us, but in her own world, and now sweet as a lamb, not knowing a thing except long ago incidents. This is painful to know and realize that we may be headed in that direction and may suffer the same.
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