Monday, January 11, 2010

Unresolved Anger

A young woman has had a tough life. I know nothing about her details or circumstances. I only know that she is one angry person. You know the type: loud and opinionated, interrupts and shouts down anyone who tries to tell her a fact, an opinion, or has a question. The world is out to get her. She knows better than everyone on earth.

There is absolutely NO way to have a conversation with this young woman. She is just filled with anger. But she doesn’t know that she’s angry. She thinks she keeps running into bimbos who have terrible ideas. Everyone she meets is wrong. If only she could set the world straight. Everyone is out of step, except her.

Now picture this young woman with a two-week old baby. She dotes on the baby, sort of. One gets the feeling that she dotes in order to show off what a great mom she is. She loudly brags about all the bad advice the doctors in the hospital gave her and how she isn’t doing what they said, because she knows better.

I’m sad, because her anger issues are going to spread and consume the life of this sweet baby. I’m sad that the baby has no chance in hell to become anything but another angry person. Perhaps another angry parent, some day.

How is it possible to help someone like this angry, young woman? She does not accept help and is far from gracious about anything that may appear to be advice.

I’m depressed when I think about the life that baby has to look forward to. I stop at a convenience store to buy some potato chips to help “drown” my sorrow.

I know. I have a problem with mood eating. That’s another topic for another day.

Be well, little baby. Grow up strong and happy. May you be blessed with loving and caring extended family members who can help you beyond the anger in which you are immersed. If I ever see you again, I will do my best to give you a happy day. And I will pray for you. Will that be enough?


Lisa said...

This makes me so sad. Hoping there are indeed extended family members to help the baby. Also hoping she'll get over herself and put the baby first.

Shevvy said...

Unfortunately you cannot help people like this unless they want to be helped.
I know some people would disagree with me but I've learnt to accept this. Otherwise you can really let their negativity impact your own outlook.
It sounds trite, but don't let her get you down.

p.s. I've been lurking for a while, sorry I haven't introduced myself before!

Melissa said...

I am sending you an email later tonight. I have an excellent example of a child that grew up with angry parents, no extended family nearby and turned into one of the kindest, gentlest, most loving parents I know. Actually 2 examples... I'll write you when I'm done studying (which I'm supposed to be doing right now).

Beth said...

What makes me sad is wondering what type of environment the new mother grew up in... you know the adage of unbroken cycle... Hopefully the baby will have a good life... I am thinking prayers are in order!

woolywoman said...

Painful. You could consider asking her for advice-as a way to connect-but it is probably hopeless. At least she is taking care of the baby somewhat. Is there a father? Is he stupid, too? I'd just be sure to go into any situation with her with your boundaries well engaged.

Carol E. said...

Thanks, everyone. I really don't know this person.. I was accidentally in her presence for a short time yesterday. I can't ask her anything or suggest anything. We are pretty much total strangers, and to be honest,I hope our paths never cross again. I just have to hope and pray that others around this baby will take care and intervene as necessary. Thanks for your comments. I am still feeling sad about it. Sometimes what I see in the course of my work is very sad. I have to keep my chin up!!

Quiltdivajulie said...

Powerful post . . . yes, it is terribly hard to see and know what is likely to happen, especially to innocents who are caught in the 'cross-fire.'

Blessings to you for caring . . .

Mood eating ... me, too.