I'm almost 62. I am the youngest of four siblings. Our mom is 93. She finds it shocking that all her children are in their 60s. Soon we'll start into the next decade!
I went to see Mom a couple days ago. I go about once a month. She lives 150 miles away. I am starting to feel wistful and sentimental. I don't think my mom will be alive a whole lot longer. She has had congestive heart failure for quite a while. She becomes extremely winded from the smallest exertion of energy. It's hard to listen to her difficult breathing after she just walks a few feet and puts on her nightgown. I don't think her heart will be able to keep up that hard work for much longer.
I'm not a doctor, but I think I'm pretty close on this one.
Anticipating losing one's mom is a strange thing. She was always so energetic, busy, full of vim and vigor. I loved that about her. I miss that energetic mom. She does, too. She told me she feels "old and useless." That makes me sad. She lives in assisted living now, and I think that adds to her feeling of being "useless." She owned her own condo before this; she was proud of being independent and still going strong into her 90s. Her mind is still strong, and she can still enjoy one of her great loves: reading.
My mom's younger sister, my aunt, recently moved into a care center, too. She and my uncle now live in the same residence again (although on different floors). He has dementia, she has ALS. It is hard to see my favorite adults aging and becoming weak.
On my dad's side there is one sibling left. My aunt, who was the youngest of how many? Eight, I think. She has Alzheimer's, and her husband just died. She is alert enough to know what's happening and that she can no longer live in their house. These are really tough times.
I have not been very motivated to sew. I have done a little, but I just feel a bit restless. I can't settle down to a book, either.
I'm letting myself plan ahead for some painful loss.
It's part of life, but it's the hard part.