Mary J. Blige
My son got married two years ago, and it was one of the happiest days of my life. Then things went really wrong; he and his wife have decided to get a divorce. This has been very painful for me.
I know it has been the same for them, of course. I think my son probably did most of his grieving before I even knew anything was wrong. I gradually learned about the problems and found myself grieving like nobody's business. I probably was in shock for a while. Then I started accepting it, but with difficulty.
Lately I have thought I was doing better. In general, I think I am. My son, once the decision was made, felt much happier and at peace after a long time of struggle. It has helped me to see how happy he is now.
Overall I do OK, but every once in a while I get blindsided by something that touches that raw spot in my heart, and I have a meltdown. It usually has to do with music! They used several Beatles' songs for their wedding, and I still can't listen to that music without bawling.
Today I was taken by surprise. I went to the movie, "The Help." What a fabulous movie! It was just as great as the book! At the end, as the credits rolled, a song came on that poked at my sore spot, and I lost it. I sat in the dark, alone, having a meltdown. Crying my eyes out.
I don't remember the name of the song; it was a Mary Blige song. It's something like this: "life has been hard, I've been struggling, now I'm recovering, and I'm going to be OK." It's a great song! But it struck me as terribly sad as I thought about my DIL. I don't know how she's feeling, but at least part of her must be thinking about the loss. So I feel broken-hearted on her behalf. (After all, she has lost my fabulous son.. who wouldn't be broken hearted?!)
For all I know, she may be feeling happy and at peace, like my son seems to be feeling. But I, for one, am still on the recovery road. Luckily these meltdowns are becoming less frequent.
Just don't ask me to listen to the Beatles for a while. And that Mary Blige song, whatever it is.