Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Growing Up


photo by moosboy1

I'm still figuring myself out. You'd think I'd be a total grown-up by now. I'm 56 years old, for crying out loud! There are some things I like about myself and some things that really bug me about myself. Do other people feel that way, too? Even though you are grown up in number of years, do you still feel like you are figuring yourself out? Working on things? Or do you feel like you pretty much are settled and satisfied?

Tonight I'm feeling ... I can't find the word. Kind of embarrassed, and I feel like crying. Maybe that idiom in paragraph one, "for crying out loud," was kind of a Freudian slip. I'm 56 years old and I feel like crying!

13 comments:

Megs said...

Why oh why do you feel like crying? You seemed well at book group tonight - your fun, random, caring self! :) Well, I will say a little prayer for you to stop "bugging yourself" for awhile - and I will eagerly look forward to learning to make a quilt with you! :)

Know you are loved, Carol!

Torina said...

Each year older I get, the more I realize that I have so much yet to learn and grow. I feel, in a way, younger than I did before, or maybe more naive.

I'm not a crier either, but maybe we should just have a good ol' fashioned cry together :)

Beth said...

I think it is because you are such a passionate person... enough said!

Melissa said...

I think asking those questions is a part of being human. I think everyone is trying to figure out how to change the things they don't like about themselves. I know I go through phases that I'm doing it constantly and then there will be months where I'm satisfied. It's a cycle and I think that questioning is the only way you can make a change in your life....otherwise the world would be the same as it was 100 years ago and we'd be the same people we were 10 years ago.

Christina said...

Go ahead and cry. Sometimes that is all you need to see things a little brighter. and very cute little girl.

Elaine Adair said...

I believe that crying thing is all hormones, or brain chemistry -- what else can explain it's occasional suddenness???

I am still trying to figure out what I'm going to 'be' when I grow up! And it's HARD to look at myself and actually SEE those things I'd rally like to keep to ourselves, and probably everyone else already knows about me! LOL

Whatever, it will pass. Hopefully soon. 8-)

True Blue Nana said...

I am definitely trying to figure myself out and I am older than you, not much but a little! Since I retired things are so different in my life. I seem to have lost all confidence in myself. I cry all the time. I spent the second half of yesterday either crying or trying not to. I have so many questions.

Joyce said...

You need to listen to Holly Cole sing You Can Cry if You Want To.
I love that song. And, yes, crying can be good for you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O078AVSa-cg

BUMBLE BEANS said...

Ah! go ahead and have a good cry! To me those are the moments we are about to learn something about ourselves! We will always learn and grow! that's life, go ahead and LIVE! ;-)

Jill said...

Hey Carol - hope you're still not feeling like crying :) ('tho it's OK if you do!). Is Speaking of Faith getting to you that much? Just think of it as her spiritual memoir - all that science and art stuff means something to *her* and maybe not everyone else. I like it because she's a strong writer and she often has insightful lines and quotes.

There were about 12 women who attended the Faith and Life bookclub at Hennepin last night - many for the first time like me! It's a new group. We had a wonderful discussion about Eat, Pray, Love and it made me appreciate the book even more. Next month they are reading Sleep Toward Heaven, but the discussion is on St. Pat's Day (and the day before I leave on my cruise), so I'm not sure if I'll go. The book sounds good though.

Take care!

hetty said...

i'm still figuring myself out and I'm older than you. We are human. Yeah, so what. you ask? I have no idea. I think it means that we feel whatever we feel and shouldn't be embarrassed about it.

Clare said...

I've spent most of this last week in floods for no apparent reason. I think it's definitely hormonal. Hope you are feeling perkier and things are looking better.

Sue said...

Hope you're feeling better. I think most of us have times when we feel blue and all life's little problems seem magnified. I'm still waiting to grow up and I'm sometimes shocked by the woman I see in the mirror. Hugs, Sue