Sunday, January 08, 2012

Gaining and Losing Friends

Recently I talked about re-uniting with my friend, L., after about 47 years. It has been such a joy! L and I had another friend, MJ, who was another child who attended church with us. MJ lived on a farm, and it was always a huge treat to go visit her and play on the farm... endless joys and games to invent and things to find and get into. Those are some of my fondest memories.

Now that I have reunited with L, I was hoping that some day soon I could find MJ and see her again, too. Maybe L, MJ and I could all three get together.

what might have been... 3 GFs in our younger years (not a real pic of us, but the hair colors are correct)

Unfortunately, I found out this week that MJ died early this month. I never got to see her after being a good friend of hers during my growing up years of ages 5-12. (I think I saw her once when we were teenagers.) I also found out that she had a particular demon that dogged her for many years and contributed to her death. I'm very sad that she had that demon in her life. She was such a nice, sweet person... whose choices led to an un-sweet adulthood, at least in part. I grieve over the thought of it.

In a way I feel blessed that I only remember her as the sweet and kind and fun-loving child she was. We had such fun playing together. I always felt like she was nicer than I was, and I wanted to be more like her. She never made me FEEL bad, I just recognized that she was a nice person from deep inside and admired that in her.

This is the calendar year in which my friends and I will turn the Big 6-0! Yikes, that sounds.... surprising. It doesn't seem possible. I remember when I thought anyone 60 and over had lived a good life, and seeing them in the obits would not be surprising. Now I know it's much too soon.

MJ, I am sorry that you will not get to see your 60s. I loved our short years of friendship. You are now free of your demons and have found true peace in the great mystery beyond. Rest in Peace, MJ.


Sextant said...

A character in a novel that I read a few years ago, stated that he was in that stage of life where things, people, and eventually memories were taken away from him. Alas we stand on the threshold to the age.

My deepest sympathy for your friend.

BrendaLou said...

Carol, my heart goes out to you about your friend. I've been looking for a friend too who disappeared just after high school with demons....wondering....wondering.

Well, I DID just turn 60 last week. It's not as bad as I would have thought back in the day.

Nann said...

Carol, I know what you mean--all too well. Several years ago I googled a long-lost friend's name and got her obituary. She'd died just a week earlier. I looked up the newspaper from a town where I once lived and found the obituary for the son of a woman I'd worked with. He'd died suddenly, age 62.
On a happier note, last Christmas I sent a card to a woman I knew from 8th grade through college....found her address online. She wrote to me this year, a lovely long letter. (Note to self: I must write to her.)
I suppose the lesson is that we should reach out and say hello. It's up to the other person to decide to respond. In the Internet age it's easy to find people.