Ladies of Grace 09/30/09

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This week I have no story of how I opened up to grace. Just a story of how I'm closed off. I have a cold heart and need to work on it.

Last spring someone said something to me that hurt my feelings. It was supposed to be work-related, but it came out sounding more like a slam against my personality. I really struggled with going back to work this fall, because it's still a sore spot in my heart.

I've been trying to forgive and move on. It's hard. This week something happened to remind me... and make it appear to me that this person just doesn't even like me at all.

I've always hated feeling disliked. And this lingering cloud around my heart is not good. I am going to put a note in God's In-box and ask for help. Will you please pray for me, too?

Ladies of Grace - 09-09-09

Wow, today's date is really cool... 9-9-9. Babies born today will have an easy birthdate to remember!

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(editing to add this tip: to see some real grace in action, read here.. Silly Boo Dilly)


Join us at Walk a Mile in the Ladies of Grace carnival. Think about a time during the week that you experienced grace in any form. Did your heart warm and soften? Did you accomplish a gracious act? Did someone do something to or for you that warmed your heart? Please share your story so we can learn from each other.


My story of grace involves a person to whom I carry an internal defensiveness. I take everything he says with a grain of salt and automatically discount it, unless it's something I already totally agree with.


This week I had a sudden thought: who am I to determine ahead of time that he is usually wrong? Maybe I should listen with an open mind. Just that little thought gave me a sense of peace. I was happy to get the little insight and to feel better in his presence. It's still a work in progress.... I need to combat that defensive posture that comes up when he speaks. But it worked once just to think that the problem may be with me and not him at all. So I'll keep working on it and try to crack my mind open a little more each time I'm with this person.

Ladies of Grace - 02 Sept 09

Join us at Walk a Mile to share a story of grace or achieving a warm, soft heart.

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My story of a warm, gracious heart is something I am still working on... have not yet mastered. As you know if you are a regular reader, my son got married this summer. It was a wonderful, happy celebration. Nothing but joy all day long.

My son and his wife are vegan, and so they worked with the caterer to choose vegan food to serve at the wedding reception. The food was beautiful, delicious and plentiful. There was something for everyone. If you didn't know it was vegan, you might not even notice or be "scared off."

Shortly after the wedding my mom asked me with kind of a snarly look on her face "what made Steven become vegan?!" -- It's that bad a choice, Mom???? I'm actually quite proud of him and his wife.. they both have made their choices based on morals and principles, from learning about land use and how animals are treated in the meat industry. What's to not love and be proud of? I'd be a vegetarian myself if I weren't so dang lazy about learning a new way of cooking and eating.

So I'm working on not feeling mad and petty about my mom and her 88-year-old self who tends to be critical of things that are different. Still a work in progress........ I think I'll make a God's Inbox and put a little prayer in the box to ask for help with this one. It's not good to hold a little grudge against my dear mommy.

Ladies of Grace 26 Aug 09

The Ladies of Grace campaign says: You are encouraged to look back over the week and recognize a moment when your heart was open, or warm - or perhaps a time when you notice your heart closed, or hardened. It's an experiment in awareness - awareness of the grace that God offers us, and the grace that we can offer to others.

So here is my story. This week I was thankful for friendship and fellowship that other people can offer to our hardened hearts.

I'm a member of a group where I've been feeling a little bored, unchallenged, and uninterested. I've been wondering if I should quit. Then we had a gathering this week, and I remembered how much I like these people. They were friendly, happy, and we all had a good time. I felt that cold wall around my heart melt off into oblivion. Thank you, group, for helping me remember to see and love the spirit in each of us! Friendship is a gift.

Namaste!

Ladies of Grace - 19 Aug 09

It's not a story of my own effort I am sharing this week, but some thoughts on grace explained in a different way. This week I was pleasantly surprised to open up The Book of Wonders by Robert Hays to the August 16 entry entitled "Each Day Is Your Birthday." August 16 is my husband’s birthday! What Hays wrote for this entry seemed like a great thought to share on Wednesday for Ladies of Grace. I like his analogy to our struggles as “birth pains.” We get a new beginning and another chance to be gracious with every encounter, good or bad. May the "birth pains help us to remember to open our hearts to grace, even when facing difficulties. Here are the beautiful words from Robert Hays’ The Book of Wonders --

“….your second birth [into the life of spirit] is ongoing and lifelong, and like the first is also painful….The labor pains of your second lifelong birth will be felt and remembered each day as you encounter the ordinary challenges of life. You will consciously feel those labor pains when you struggle to accept life’s disappointments, broken dreams, and heartbreaks with serenity. You are being born more fully into the spirit each time you endure the pain of remaining nonviolent when [you are] the target of violent words, when you struggle to love the unlovable, and when you pardon others. So when next you feel the demanding pains of being loving and kind, forgiving and non-judgmental, rejoice since they mean today is your birthday.

When awakened, I am overjoyed that
today isn’t just another day, it’s my birthday!
So help me embrace, just as my mother did,
the birth pains that help me grow more Godlike.”

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[Grief opens us to softness and illumination. - wisdom from Anne Lamott]

Ladies of Grace 2

Charles contemplating history while

sitting in Constitution Hall, Philadelphia.

It's Wednesday which means it's time to come up with a Ladies of Grace story. First I have to confess that last week's story was stolen from the past. I had to come up with a story quickly, before going to Philadelphia... so I took one that I remembered from before. It was true, it just hadn't happened recently.

This week... I'm trying to come up with a time from this past week when my heart was able to soften and be gracious. Nothing huge stands out in my memory, but here is something:

My husband's birthday is coming up. He'll be 57. So for his gift I decided to make a little book... "57 Reasons Why I Love You." It was fun to think about our history together and all our little inside jokes . I was able to include, as something I love about him, one of the little things that has bugged me for all these years. I realized that because it's part of him, it's loveable, and I can and should finally stop complaining about it. That felt like a victory for my heart!

That's all! Nothing too dramatic.. which I guess is what it's all about... being more thoughtful and gracious in our every day business.

Ladies of Grace

Have you noticed my new Ladies of Grace button (see sidebar)? It came from Beth at Walk a Mile. She read a book (A Heart Like His) that encourages people to open their heart... it doesn't take an enormous effort. In fact, don't even do anything new. Just notice, in your normal day, where you can open your heart and be more Christ-like or God-like.

Visit Beth's blog and leave a comment; this will enter you into her drawing for a book and a couple of other prizes. Start to think about opening your heart, and how you can share Grace (a free gift of love) with those around you.

I have a story to share that happened to me... but I will post it in a few days. It happened in my normal course of daily events. I just opened up a little, and felt at peace, and had fun where I thought I wouldn't. It was a Gracious Moment.

Can you, too, be a Lady or Gentleman of Grace? I think you can. Open your heart and give it a whirl!