A Healing Day

The topic at church today was forgiveness. It helped me a lot and gave me plenty to think about. It's a very hard thing to do, but it's important to work on it and practice it.

Thank you so much for your wonderful comments and the emails I received today. You were all very helpful, even if you think you weren't. Relationships aren't easy, and it helps to bounce things off other people.

It was a beautiful day here in Minnesota! The Vikings won their game (barely)! What a nail biter! Great game to have on while I sewed. Later Charles and I went out for a walk, and it was so nice and pretty. Amazing how just one little mile walk can make my whole self feel cleansed.



I got a LOT of sewing done this weekend, and that was good. I needed to get some things done for various deadlines. This baby quilt is going to a sale of hand-made items that will benefit Special Ed children in St. Paul.

The toys have umpteen places to go... I want to keep making more so I can donate them to all the places I have in mind. I'm having fun with my Monster Mash.

This one was a complete accident. It looked nothing like this when I started out... I realized my first idea wouldn't work. I tried to back-track and sew some pieces on while it was only half ripped apart. I thought it was going to be a total failure - it looked like a mess - but it turned into this little guy, and I quite like him! He is a complete happy accident.

I love this poor little Sad Sack. He needs someone to love him and hug him up, don't you think?

Now it's time to watch "Amazing Race" on TV - the one show Charles and I usually sit down and watch together - and then make sure I'm ready for another full week of work. Get, ready, get set... GO! Off to work we go.

Admitting my Faults

This week Daughter and I had a big, fat disagreement. It happened in public. I had invited her out for lunch, because I had a day off, and the time would finally work.

Right off the bat we were snippy at each other. It wasn't fun. Instantly I was so mad. We know how to push each other's buttons... in the past we have sat in restaurants going ahead with the meal but steaming at each other the whole time. I didn't want to do that again, so I LEFT after having had only a Diet Coke. I left her sitting there with her unopened birthday presents... alone.
What kind of a mom does that??

I came home and watched Dr. Phil. He was talking about problem relationships and said his usual.. I've heard this before... "someone in this relationship needs to be the hero." Meaning, drop the crap and step up and be a nice person so you can heal the rift and get back to loving each other. Someone has to take the first step.

As a mom I should have done that.

I've been feeling like crap ever since.

Daughter and I love each other, but we have a history of wild ups and downs. We need to be adults. It's so hard to do when one is mad and feelings are hurt, and there is a liftetime of history behind it all. Easy to listen to Dr. Phil say "someone needs to be the hero" and to think about the people on his show "yeah, why don't they just stop arguing?!" In one's own personal life it is way harder.

I've been trying to call and text message Daughter. All she said was, she needs time to "get over it." Which means she is still hurt and mad. I'm just sad and feeling like crap.

I put this prayer ("help!") in God's in-box. So far I still feel like crap.

Now you know what a horrible mom I am. I've bared my soul. Not very pretty, is it?!

happier times in another restaurant

Two Days Off

I have Thursday and Friday off this week. Ahhhh! It feels great.

Yesterday I spent the entire day sewing crumb blocks. I have a lot. of. scraps. I could make crumb blocks from now until the cows come home, and still not use up all my scraps. Crumb blocks are endlessly endless. I used about 4 dozen blocks to make a couple of quilt tops. I still have a pile of over 100 blocks, I'm sure. (Didn't count, but I know...) My scrap bin is down about 1/4 of a tiny unit.

If I sewed and sewed and sewed until I used up all my scraps, how many crumb blocks do you think I would have in the end? Easily 2,000 or more, I bet. And the act of making crumb blocks creates more scraps. It's a vicious cycle.

Here is what I did today:

1) covered God's in-box .. not too professionally done, but God doesn't mind. I got this idea from reading Anne Lamott's book, Traveling Mercies. When having a problem, scribble down a note to God, or just a name, or a whole prayer if you want, and drop it into the Inbox. Surprisingly, it seems to help! God will help you with your problem!

2) a Halloween bag for sale at church bazaar

3) crumb block top which still needs some kind of borders

4) another crumb block top that needs more of something.. it's too small right now

All these projects distracted me from finishing the table runner of a couple days ago, not to mention the secret project I need to finish and deliver to someone in my guild ASAP. I would have worked on that today, but I couldn't find one part of it. Weird. It has been in plain sight for days, until now when I wanted to start working with it.

You will get to see a picture of my secret project in about one month.

I Have a Cat!?

Cat loves sleeping in The Box

I was never an animal person. When I was a kid we briefly had a dog, but I was afraid of her. I was afraid of all farm animals. I didn't like cats. They were so hard to understand, and a little creepy. They'd always choose to jump into MY lap when I visited a cat owner's house. Why, when there were authentic Cat Lovers present who would gladly offer their lap??

About ten years ago I worked in a school program with two cat lovers. They told me stories about their cats and insisted I would love a cat if I would only give it a chance and open up my home to a cat. I was adamant that they were wrong. I could never love a cat, and I would certainly never willingly have one in my home.

Famous last words. My daughter had moved into her own apartment, and she got a little kitty. Ew, I thought. Why would she do that? After a while she needed to move back home, and so along came the kitty. Well, it's temporary, I told myself. I can survive.

The impossible happened! I fell in love! The crazy cat was so endearing, so cute, and funny the way it would chase its own tail, run wildly after little milk bottle caps (and drop them into our shoes), help us make the bed (ha!). And the killer: when one of us felt sad, the cat seemed to sense the sadness; he came and sat quietly next to the sad person. Calmly. Patiently. Lovingly. Here I am. I love you. Things will get better. Purr, purr. Aren't I soft? Pet me, and we'll both feel better.

Our daughter and Cat moved out again. I worried about Cat. Our daughter is never home! This cat needs people. Really needs people around him. So... eventually we inherited Cat, or so it seems. Daughter asked us to cat-sit about two months ago, and has not asked for him back. I think she knows: Cat is better off at "grandparents" house. Gwamma and Gwampa stay home, they play with Cat, they brush him, clean his litter box, and take him to the vet for shots. Everyone is happier.

Thanks to Cat, you know what else I learned? I learned to love all animals way more than I thought I ever would! Dogs and everything (though I am more a cat person than a dog person.) I'm not afraid of dogs (finally)! I'm more interested in zoo animals now (not just the giraffes). I'm grateful to our sweet cat for teaching me so many lessons. He is sitting here right now, patiently watching me type, waiting for me to have time to cuddle. I'll do it, happily.

My friends were right! I learned to love a cat! Purr, purr.

helping me sew

Welcome to Wednesday

No one attempted my trivia yesterday, but I promised the answers today, so here they are:

1) St. Paul Winter Carnival

2) St. Patrick's Day

3) the Friday and Saturday after Thanksgiving

4) Patricia Hampl (author of The Florist's Daughter, among others)

5) Gordon Parks

6) T.R. Knight - he played George O'Malley

Last night I made a very simple table runner that turned out really nice! (IMO) Binding isn't quite done. I'll post a picture when it's completed.

Tuesday Trivia

How Well Do You Know Saint Paul, Minnesota?

1) What is the official name of the "Coolest Celebration on Earth?"

2) On which day of the year does the "Human Race" take place?

3) When does the Minnesota Hmong New Year occur?

4) This award-winning writer was born and raised in St. Paul. Her father was a florist. She traces her roots back to Czech Republic. Who is she?

5) This man from St. Paul was a photographer and reporter for Life magazine and also wrote books, poetry, and plays. The newest high school in St. Paul is named after him. Who is he?

6) This actor, who was a regular on Grey's Anatomy, is from Minnesota (ummm... from that other city, Minneapolis, but I'll let him be on my trivia list today). Who is he?

Three Jumps at the Pantry Door

When I was growing up, my mom did a lot of delicious cooking and baking. She gave herself the night off every Sunday. On Sunday nights we were to prepare our own meals. She called it "three jumps at the pantry door." As in,

"what's for dinner?"

"three jumps at the pantry door."

(meaning: fix yourself something!)

However, she didn't really take the night off as I would interpret the meaning of night off. She still rummaged around the kitchen and set out things that would help us: leftovers, cheese, meat, bread, vegies and fruit, fixings and even dishes for us to use... to me that is pretty much the same as making a meal, but to her it was a break from meal prep.

My hubby and I still use the "three jumps concept." But in our world, it is a 100% night off for both of us from trying to feed the other. In our house it goes like this:

"what should we do for dinner tonight?"

"how about Three Jumps?"

"OK"

and we know each of us is completely on our own. We both just scrounge; no one lays out any food suggestions for anyone else. The only overlap is if one person creates something yummy, and the other one is jealous. Then a little bit of stealing or "forced sharing" goes on.

You know what? When I sat down to write, I was going to talk about church today and the quilting I've done! Somehow this story came out instead. I probably have food on my mind, after seeing "Julie and Julia" in the theater Friday night (good movie, and Meryl Streep, as usual, was superb).

Do you have any strange language such as "three jumps at the pantry door" that no one outside of your family understands?

Hello, Friday!

photo from mesdeuxcents blogspot

What a week! I had something to do every night this week, Monday through Friday! On Sunday night I took a deep breath to steel myself for the coming week... and it worked! I have survived! Tonight's event is a fun, social event; I might even get Charles to accompany me!

Monday: UMW meeting. Interesting and fun, and a yummy snack (pumpkin bars, I think they were.)

Tuesday: book club.. always a nice gathering of women. We discussed our book and our lives and our ups and downs. We happened to have snacks there, too. (Usually we don't.) Candy corn, chips and homemade salsa, and a chocolate cake. Nothing wrong with any of that, eh??

Wednesday: a training for work. It was semi-interesting and finished early in the evening, so I still had time to unwind at home.

Thursday: another training! And this one went later into the evening. And was a little less interesting, but still worthwhile. I got home just in time to watch Grey's Anatomy.

Friday: potluck dinner at church, then a movie. We'll be in two groups.. hubby and I will be with the "Julie and Julia" group. Can't wait to see it! I looovvvee Meryl Streep.

I have not even looked at my sewing machine in too long. I'm hoping to get reacquainted this weekend.

Today I'm thankful for:

1] my students! What fun young adults they are, even when they are exasperating.

2] the gorgeous fall days we've had after the rain stopped! Breathtaking.

3] hubby being so flexible and accommodating and all-around nice

4] a full life, even when it's too busy

5] as always, good books. I'm almost done reading Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout. It's great! Here's a line from the book that I loved: "each of my kids is my favorite." You moms or dads of more than one can relate, right?

6] my beautiful and sparkling daughter, whom I forgot to highlight on her birthday. She is now 29, almost catching up to my age! Who'da thunk it?

I'll Write About This...

I wanted to post something, but wasn't sure what to write about. Then Chronicles of a Country Girl solved the problem for me. She posted questions, and my answers shall be my post for today. (See answers to yesterday's trivia at the end of this post.) Here goes:

1. What is your absolute best asset? compassion

2. What is the best thing that has happened to you in the past week? attending the state United Methodist Women conference and feeling re-invigorated to work on behalf of mission around the world

3. What do you usually use to mark a place in a book you’re reading? It varies widely. If I can find one of my homemade bookmarks, I use that (see picture above). But often it's a random piece of junk mail, a store receipt, or even a scrap of fabric.

4. How many times do you hit the snooze button in the morning? Usually only once. But I still don't get up right away.. I can go back to sleep in an instant, but I will usually have a sense of time and will know if it's getting too late, and then I snap awake.

5. What was the last thing you put a postage stamp on? a letter to my friend, Carrie (a couple states away). She and I are pen pals and still write real letters on real stationery (by hand! or sometimes typed) and send them through the mail. She likes to make interesting home-made envelopes and cards. Checking my mail box is fun!

Now for the answers for yesterday's trivia:

1) capital of Vermont is Montpelier

2) Ayers Rock is in Australia.

3) Its original name is Uluru.

4) Mediterranean Sea is between Europe and Africa.

5) Rodeo Drive is in Beverly Hills, CA.

Sears Tower is in Chicago. New name is Willis Tower.

El Alamo (or the Alamo) is in San Antonio, TX.

Cherry on a Spoon is a sculpture in Minneapolis, MN.

Tuesday Trivia

Ayers Rock as seen from space

I did this a while back, and it was fun, so here we go again... Tuesday Trivia! Some will be very easy, some a little trickier. Try your luck! Answers will be posted tomorrow.

1) What is the capital of Vermont?

2) In which country do you find Ayers Rock?

3) What was the original name of Ayers Rock, as named by the indigenous people?

4) What large sea is between Europe and Africa?

5) In which city do you find...
[a] El Alamo?
[b] Rodeo Drive?
[c] Sears Tower? (bonus: what is the new name of Sears Tower?)
[d] Cherry in a Spoon?

Church on Saturday

Yesterday I went to a state-wide conference of United Methodist Women. It was very inspirational. In fact, so much so that I decided to volunteer to become president of our local unit at church... something I thought I'd never do.

I decided to follow my mother's advice and say yes, even if I feel unqualified. She credits UMW with giving her fabulous training and experience in leadership and many other skill areas. She rose to the top of the top in her hey day, something I don't expect to do. If I live through local unit president I'll be pleased.

This is inside the church sanctuary which was built in 1956. My uncle was on the building committee back then! They have these gorgeous, very mod looking stained glass windows. I'm going to ask him if they are originals. If so, I think they were ahead of their time in 1956.

Our conference Bishop (Sally Dyck) spoke. She is so inspirational! She plugged this book which I just happen to have ordered this week, Half the Sky. It's about women around the world and the enormous burdens and suffering they endure. "As the women and girls go, so goes the village, so goes the world" said our bishop. She encourages us to read this book, if we have the stomach for it. Imagine that... some women are experiencing daily trauma that may be too hard for us to read about. How do they live through it??

By the way, Oprah was plugging the same book just the other day.

Here is the keynote speaker, whose name I can't recall. She is from the Board of Global Missions, Women's Division (hope I got that right). She was wonderful, too. Between the bishop and the keynote, and the example of my own mother, I just could not turn away from the little tug I felt toward volunteering to be president at the local level. God has a good sense of humor.

My mom received her Woman of the Year award a few weeks ago at a district meeting, and the five Women of the Year recipients were once again recognized at the state level. Here they are (minus one). My mom rocks!

Mom is in the all blue outfit.

My Bucket List

Jo at A Majority of Two wrote a list of ten things she'd like to do before she leaves this Earth. I decided it was an intriguing idea, so here's mine. I'm calling it My Bucket List; as you may know from the movie of that title, it's the things you want to do before you Kick the Bucket.

This was not easy! It took me quite a while to write this list. I wondered: should I be reasonable and name the things that are actually possible? Or should I include off-the-wall dreamy things I know I won't really achieve? It can be hard to find where the line is between those two, depending on how Far Out I go. So... see what you think and if you can tell which are Pie in the Sky dreams and which are things I might really do. Here they are, in no particular order.

1) Learn to play the bassoon. I love the mellow, sometimes mournful, sometimes silly, happy, and frolicsome sound of the bassoon.

2) Visit these places in Europe:

[a] all of the United Kingdom. Both sets of grandparents originated there (Scotland, Ireland and England). I would love to see the places where they lived, played, worked, grew up.

[b] Czech Republic where I could meet my pen pal of almost 20 years. (OMG, is it really that long??? I can hardly believe it! Yet it is true!)

[c] Scandinavia. I love the terrain and the climate there, not to mention the good and happy life which the people and their governments have created for themselves. Hey, a little Socialism here and there apparently isn't all bad!

Scotland - photo by gumbo-something -

via image search at Yahoo

3) With my husband, take at least one (preferably more than one) travel/educational trip with Elderhostel. (I know they recently changed their name, but I can't remember what the new name is.)

4) Learn to machine quilt on a long-arm machine. I don't want to own or buy one. I just want to know how and to do it successfully (i.e., not ugly). I don't expect or demand great artisanship out of myself on this one. Functional is my goal.

5) Be a grandma. Learn from my mistakes as a mom and be a really good grandma. Live long enough to see them grow up and get married.

6) Leave a large donation to some worthy cause... large enough to make a real difference. An endowment that will continue to fund itself for a hefty scholarship. A donation that could build a school, or save a school. Build a library. Help women around the world go to school and improve their lives and their children's lives. Fund a job-training and employment program that works! [Is any of this too much to ask??]

7) Live for a year or two in an Alaskan or Northwest Territory Indian village which lives on a subsistence basis.

8) Visit Panama with my sisters. All three of us were born there, and two of us have never been back.

Panama Canal, photo by my niece, RPS

9) Win a photography competition.

10) Live in Grand Marais, Minnesota from May to October.

Lake Superior, not far from Grand Marais. Photo by me.

I'm OK, You're OK

Guess what. Just the fact that I pondered that heart-achey situation described in yesterday's post, and took some time to write about it, helped heal my sadness over it! Isn't it amazing how that works? I think I just needed time to process and figure out in my heart what some things meant... and I'm pretty at peace with it now. I've had a happier attitude at work since I wrote that entry.

Thanks for your nice thoughts about my healing and all... what would we do without friends??? I know I'd be lost.

The picture above is a house we used to live in. Our kids were born when we lived there, so I have some good memories of little feet going pitter patter (and crash, bang) all over that house. See the big evergreen in front? My hubby and our daughter planted that when she was 3 or 4. It was shorter than she was at the time! And the two boulevard trees? One was planted by us, rescued from a shady spot where it was struggling and had bent to reach the sun... our neighbor was so sure it would not survive. But look at it! Gorgeous, in't it??

I'm thrilled that tomorrow is Friday. Hooray!!!!!

Ladies of Grace 09/30/09

join Ladies of Grace, and check out Beth's giveaway

This week I have no story of how I opened up to grace. Just a story of how I'm closed off. I have a cold heart and need to work on it.

Last spring someone said something to me that hurt my feelings. It was supposed to be work-related, but it came out sounding more like a slam against my personality. I really struggled with going back to work this fall, because it's still a sore spot in my heart.

I've been trying to forgive and move on. It's hard. This week something happened to remind me... and make it appear to me that this person just doesn't even like me at all.

I've always hated feeling disliked. And this lingering cloud around my heart is not good. I am going to put a note in God's In-box and ask for help. Will you please pray for me, too?

A Mini Halloween Quilt

Check out this give-away, a cute Halloween quilty.

http://laurasbirdnest.blogspot.com/2009/09/100th-post-give-away.html

Favorite Sound

Do you have a favorite sound? I do. This is mine.

Want to Buy an Amputated Foot?

Lately I have treated myself to extended times parked in front of my sewing machine. It feels great to get a lot done! As I mentioned yesterday, I finished the Ugly Top. Poor thing.. I dissed it badly, but ended up liking it. Here it is, along with a close-up so you can see the fabrics I used.

This one is a border that morphed into a quilt top. I started the center green parts as a border for another top, but it looked awful on that particular top. It looked OK on its own, though, so I sewed them together in this fashion and bordered it up, and voila! another quilt top done. It's sort of adult looking. I might give it to some adult who would like to have a lap quilt.

I may have posted this before. I'm not sure. All the blocks were made at the Friday Block Party. And the layout design is Tammy's. (Sunshine members may recognize Tammy's signature layout. Her ideas are so worth stealing!)

Then I made a few more toys. I have decided to sell my toys at the art fair at my previous church this November. I need to make more so that I have a reasonable inventory for a sale. The eyelashes on my eyeball toy are 3-D. What do you think? Is that one too weird?

This last one looks like an amputated foot! (The creature's butt is the heal, and it's head is the toe. See what I mean?) Ewwww! How much would YOU be willing to pay for an amputated foot?

A Happy Birthday

I have had a very nice birthday. Charles keeps telling people to ask how old I am, so I'm forced to say it outloud. Somehow I'd forgotten that having a birthday means I also have to add to my age. Oh, well... I am glad to be alive!

Last night we attended a party at my DIL's parents' house. It was fun. There were a lot of nice people there, and we got to catch up with Steven and Hummingbird. It was great. They seem happy and are settling into adulthood.

Today we went out for lunch with Autumn and Harley. Fun. Autumn talked a lot about her new job and all the new things she is learning. She loves it!

For dinner I attended a little tailgating party at church. We had hot dogs and pot luck stuff, and played a few games. The evening was GORGEOUS for sitting outside and watching the sun set.

I've even had some sewing time. I finished the Ugly Quilt top, and now I like it! Tomorrow I hope to spend more time sewing.

I'm thankful for:

1) all the Happy Birthday wishes I received in email, at Facebook, in person, and in snail mail.

2) catching up with both Autumn and Steven.

3) fun and silly times with Charles.

4) a beautiful evening.

5) the fun of making quilts.

P.S. I turned off the comment moderation, because it was such a pain.

Friday Five

I post this unofficially... a topic started by someone else. People sign up and link to each other. Not me -- I'm just doing it on my own because it's a good idea and fun.

Five great things about my week:

1) Saw so many cute babies at Trader Joe's!! So adorable! And all the moms were so patient! I loved the little girl with ruffles on her butt whose "normal pace" is run.

2) Last weekend I had such a great time at the lake with my cousins, sister, and mom. It was very rejuvenating for me.

3) Enjoyed a surprise meeting at a training workshop - met someone who knows my son and daughter-in-law and had great things to say about them!

4) I have a lot of fun things to do this weekend, and isn't that fun, because it's my birthday tomorrow!

5) Work is going well. I'm enjoying more contact time with a larger number of students, and more interpreting time, too. I like our new model.

One Rotten Apple

I apologize, but because of One Rotten Apple in the bunch, I had to turn on comment moderation. Please feel free to continue leaving comments...... if you are an honest, forthright person, as you all are except for the one recent visitor who ruined it for everyone. I hope Rotten Apple gets a life. Spam comments are not even close to being cool or clever.

P.S. I didn't make it clear, but the Spammer comment person was not a regular comment... it was really a bunch of spam and suggestive words, and it was left at a bunch of old posts so that I had to do some work to delete them all. It wasn't any of you innocent writers... I love my regular comment-leavers!